Some of you may have noticed that I have on occasion, been mentioning that I will be retiring in a few years. This, I assure you, is absolutely true. Despite loving it, and pouring my soul into it, it was not meant to be forever. I am now and always will be a passionate, dominant, woman. While the dungeon has brought me a beautiful outlet for this side of myself, it is not the only place in life where my talents belong.
In order to become a professional dominatrix and Mistress of the caliber of skill level and professionalism that makes up who I am now, I have put an enormous amount of time, energy and emotions into this career. You need not only skills and a deep understanding of the fetish world but you also need the wardrobe, toys and furniture to make that happen. I have always invested back into my dungeon and myself. In order to do that, I have worked my ass off for 14 years on a full-time basis. I have kept my head up through time-wasters, threats, bullying, doxing, rumors, theft, disgruntled and hateful peers, as well as hate-emails and stalking and on a constant basis, all while zipping up my catsuit, boots and marching into my dungeon to teach the man in my dungeon what true submission is all about, as if none of that was happening. I’ve had to deal with and reprimand needy submissives who demand attention and constant communication like 2 year olds. I still deal with people who complain that they aren’t going to get to see me in their city this month when I’ve visited there 30 times. I deal with “I just uh, noticed you were in my town” and “I know you need advanced notice BUT” thousands of times.
At the end of the day, I am in a very thankless industry. I get to the dungeon 2 hours early to prepare for a scene for someone who doesn’t even have the decency or respect to call me to say that they can’t make it. Despite all of this (which every single Dominatrix goes through by the way, she just will never speak of it), I have pushed forward. I have poured sometimes 80 hours a week into my career because the job doesn’t end when the dungeon has been cleaned and the lights are off.
People wonder why we have strict policies such as deposits, confirmation call-times, and check references. It’s because we are treated sometimes like we are less than human beings by the very people who claim that they worship us and we are in a constant state of trying to protect our feelings, time, and sanity from this. Yes, I am strict. I do not deal with time-wasters and poor behavior and I drop paying clients from my life left and right for such behavior. Yes, I have a great “weeding” process which makes things easier for me. Yes, I do have a large stable of respectful regular submissive gentlemen. It took a ton of BS to get to that point, BUT it does not mean it never happens and that I am now immune to such annoyances. It still happens occasionally.
While many people have left the industry from such annoyances, myself and many other awesome ladies have stayed for many long years. We truly love what we do, despite everything. The fantastic experiences, the wild adventures, the good stuff outweighs the bad stuff for us. We never ever get sick of seeing someone reach subspace for the very first time. We never ever get sick of hearing how someone just had the best experience that they have ever had. We don’t. Even if it means putting the hours of 2 full time jobs into the work that it takes to make this happen for us.
When someone is dangling in bondage from my ceiling like a marionette, a drooling piece of flesh in total submission, staring into my eyes and willing to take just about anything for me, it makes all of the hours and money and time and headaches and emotional stress that it sometimes took for me to buy the dungeon, the hoist, the gear and the catsuit I am wearing to get to this scene right now absolutely worth it for me. Yes, it’s a lot of time and work to make something many of you take for granted, possible. What you think is costing you $700 and 2 hours of your time, was a decade of learning and killing ourselves to get this scene in this space at that time happening for YOU.
I have been in constant communication with submissives, checking on them and seeing how they are after a scene. I have researched better ways of doing certain activities that are more effective for submissives. I have sent probably hundreds of emails to people educating them on their kinks or giving them support or assistance. The research on new gear alone can be extensive. My emails, website upkeep, advertising, editing and promotion is just unbelievably time consuming.
All of it, has been worth it. Every single bit of negativity has been worth what I have gotten to accomplish, who I’ve met, who has submitted to me, and the experiences that I have been blessed with having. It has been absolutely amazing what I have been able to do with my life at such a young age because of it. I have been able to help my family and some friends who were in awful places because of it. I drive an old car and do not wear designer clothes. I do not own Louboutins but instead have asked for gift cards so I could work on my dungeons because that mattered MORE. I’ve also saved and wisely made use of my income. My goal has always been to secure my future so I could have longevity in this industry. You have longevity in such a difficult industry by still enjoying it, and to still enjoy it you need to feel secure, have free time to yourself for your other interests and overall life outside the dungeon walls and to be healthy mentally and physically. By feeling “secure” in your future, you feel that you can continue because you WANT to because this is your passion, not because you feel STUCK in a job you dislike with no other choice. You need to know that you have lots of free time and that free time is respected by the people who submit to you who leave you be when you are having time to yourself. Otherwise, you feel like you are nothing but a dominatrix (and not a human being with other hobbies and loved ones and a life) and are living just for your submissives and not for yourself. You also need to be mentally happy and physically healthy. So you need to take the time to keep yourself well.
I am not retiring for several years but there changes coming that will effect YOU. These changes will continue my ability to continue my femdom career albeit differently, and it will enable me to pursue more of my interests as well, until I finally retire.
In 2021 the Long Island, NY studio will be closing and it will be unlikely that I will open another. If you want to see me in Long Island at my little hideaway, you have 2 years to do so. I will still travel to Long Island and take appointments in a hotel for a little while longer.
In 2021, my Florida sessions will only be 3 specific days a week and my travel will be cut in half. As time goes on into 2022, I will be slowing down to 2 days a week and eventually in 2023 or so, I will take down all advertising and I will only be seeing my existing subs who I have a special connection to and are favorites of mine, as I am 40 years old.
If you have always wanted to meet me, do it now. I MAY just keep you after I retire from the public eye.
I love femdom but I have other things that I love as well. Some are femdom-related and some are not. Some of you think that I am a fantastic gem of a dominatrix, a “5 tool player.” I love you for that, because it means so much to me after I’ve been through so much to become that person. If you think that I am great at being a dominatrix, you should see all of the other things that I am great at :) I can’t wait to have more time to dedicate to doing those things.
Much love to all of you, and thank you for the incredible journey so far in my life.
-Mistress Michelle Lacy