There is a very large problem in my industry and that problem is that sometimes there are men who book us, who do not take our job seriously enough, or maybe they do not understand it enough to take it more seriously.
My career (and it IS a real career) is one in which I am juggling many hats. I am my talent. I am my employee. I am my boss. I am my secretary, advertising agency, web designer, photo and video editor. I am my builder. I am an event planner. I am my cleaner. I work very intimately with people who book me and I help them engage in things which are emotionally deep, cathartic and challenging to them. It took many years of experience to develop the skills to do these wild scenes perfectly and seemingly effortlessly. I deal with the changing schedules, the insecurities, and many other complications of hundreds of people every single year. I am glued to my cell phones 24/7 in order to handle this whole circus juggling act of bookings and appointment details quickly and efficiently. I know this may seem shocking, but I am not a dominatrix 24/7. I am not taking random sessions at my dungeon at 2am. I am not always in a hot latex outfit lingering by the dungeon door just waiting for someone to call me. I am a human being, not an action figure, not a comic book character. A human with needs, feelings, hobbies and other important aspects of my life that go beyond my dominatrix career. Seeing you for play, takes time and energy BEFORE I even arrive at my dungeon to meet you. I need that time and energy to be minimal and very effective and there is no GOOD reason why it shouldn't be that way.
I cannot possibly have the energy and positivity to put you through 3 hours of dungeon torment if I am exhausted and miserable because I am being zapped of energy unnecessarily from the booking process of you and everyone else. There must be a good balance of everything that I do, in order for me to feel good. In order to be able to live my life fully and be happy and positive to come and see you, I need to know when I am to be at my dungeon and when I am not. It's not much to ask. It's just sensible. This is why my appointments are booked 24 hours in advance minimum. This is also why same-day sessions have a higher fee most of the time. This is why deposits for your sessions are due upon booking. In the hundreds of sessions that are attempted to be booked with me a year, a large amount never actually happen due to bad timing/scheduling or just fear on their part. The best and most reliable people have to cancel (it happens) or they just flat out disappear with no warning or explanation. I will mention this again for importance: “The best and most reliable people have to cancel (it happens) or they just flat out disappear.” So while you may be thinking that you are such an incredible person and would never do such a thing as to flake or cancel last minute, there will be a time when without meaning to, you do that very thing. Not on purpose. Just because that’s what life throws at you that day. Without a deposit, most people want to advantage of changing their day, time or canceling altogether and no good reason, since they don't have any penalty for doing so. Instead of looking forward to their set-in-stone deposited appointment, they start becoming nervous and think of changing it. Its how it psychologically works every single time. Changing appointments in such a frequent manner causes Mistresses to not ever know when we are exactly at the dungeon, and when we aren't and we cannot plan our own lives properly which is very unfair and cruel. Due to this frequently happening when people do not deposit, DEPOSIT IS DUE UPON BOOKING. That means after you book and we agree upon a time, you go on to sending me a deposit immediately. If you have to go and get a physical card from a store to do this a little later in the day, then that is what is mentioned to me with a time that I should be expecting it by. And that time should be within 2 hours of you contacting me to book this appointment. Unless I have a deposit, we do not have a session. If I allow people to send it “whenever” it will never get sent, or most people just end up canceling or disappearing on me (and every other dominatrix too). If so many people disappear or cancel then how do I know if you didn’t send a deposit yet that YOU are going to show up? I don’t, based on this unfortunate phenomenon. Deposits are a show of good faith, and officially secure a time-slot. It means that now there is a 95% chance of the person showing up for their session and even if they have to cancel or disappear, at least some of my time was covered for the preparation I have done so far for this. I cannot book anyone else this short notice in this time-slot if someone doesn’t show up or cancels. So I may have turned down someone else I could have successfully seen and had income I now missed. Deposits add up to covering us from time to time in case these things happen (and they do). If 95% of the people show up for sessions when deposited and 99% of my bookings are over 24 hours in advance, I can now plan my life. I can see my family. Spend time with my dogs. Go to the dentist. I know that I have time for those gym classes. I can plan my weekend getaway. I cannot do much of anything if I do not know what is happening from day to day. After a while, that can become exhausting. Someone tried to book me last night who I have seen 3 times prior. He should know that deposits are due upon booking but instead took it upon himself to tell me that he will have the deposit the next morning, completely ignoring my procedure. I make an exception for this, only for him to not have a deposit that morning for his 8pm desired session. He just disappeared I guess, like many others do. At 3:45pm I start driving to Miami to see a friend’s band play. I bought a ticket. At 4, I am being asked by the client what is an acceptable form for a deposit for his 8pm session he still thinks is on. No apology or acknowledgment for his lack of professionalism and disrespect. I tell him that I am now driving to Miami and how I expected a deposit that morning, already giving him a courtesy as it was. He apologizes but says he had a very busy day. I completely understand when things are busy or hectic. However, there is no excuse for a blatent lack of communication. Just 1 sentence to me this morning and I might, MIGHT have still assumed he was coming and he MIGHT have had a session with him that evening. There’s no excuse. Drug stores are open 24 hours and he could have gotten a gift card on his way to work this morning. He just assumed that he, someone I have seen just 3 times prior was a special snowflake and I would be at the dungeon all day waiting for him. He didn’t want to pay my inflated same-day rate for me to come back to see him. I know some of you might have been thinking that I should have just waited all day to see if he came through. How fair is that? Do you want to be stuck in your office for 7-12 hours just to see if someone comes through when that someone could have just done the most simple thing that very morning? I didn’t see him. The problem is that there are many people like him who try to see us and they have a complete disrespect for how busy we Pro Dommes are and what our procedures are. Thankfully, there are many men who completely understand it and respect it and don’t understand how those other men do not get it. Personally, I am at a point in my life where I have accomplished a lot. I have worked extremely hard and have made very wise choices. I have done extremely well for myself and my future is very secure. I am 37 years old and I do not need to step into my dungeon ever again. I choose to. It’s a passion of mine. It’s a hobby of mine, and as of now, I am choosing to keep it a career of mine out of pure, personal interest. I am in high-demand. I have incredible clientele. I do not have to see anyone new who I do not wish to. I do not have to drop everything and run to a dungeon for a last minute session when I do not want to. I do not need this to eat, keep a roof over my head, I don’t need it. I am a wonderfully skilled Mistress with a LOT of knowledge and experiences to give my submissives. There are not many out there who are like me. My time, knowledge, patience, hard work, professionalism, passion for BDSM should always be respected because it's a rare and special gift. The moment it isn’t, is the moment you will feel yourself lost, back to square one, and filled with regret.