Creating and Running the Order of Indomitus

For 11 years I have been running the Order of Indomitus, a very popular and world-famous weekend-long immersive femdom event. This has inspired many people to create their own immersive events and has also piqued the curiosity of many others who wonder about having their own similar type of event someday.

With the 10th anniversary passing in 2025 and gearing up for our 2026 event, I decided to write an informative blog post about what it took to create Indomitus, the challenges we have faced, and really try to portray the work involved in pulling something like this off.

Creating Indomitus

Back in 2013, when I was seriously trying to create Indomitus, nothing like it existed for me to learn from. While a couple of immersive femdom events existed, nothing was at all like what I was trying to do, and the existing, very different femdom events had fizzled out quickly for various reasons.

It was also very rare to find any professional dominants in the industry who had ever used high protocol or even heard of it, as it was almost never an appointment theme booked for anybody. It was also not something most Mistresses wanted to be a part of or believed in, as the concept seemed too "out there," and I was in my early 30s and was not taken seriously as somebody who could pull something like this off.

To create something I believed in, I knew I had to put myself in the mindset of the service-oriented sub, considering their time there, moment to moment, and not thinking about it from the Mistress's mindset. I imagined their adventure from start to finish. I had to create that adventure for them and decided to make it a fun, wild, epic, and meaningful one.

To start, I had to invest my own money. Lots of it. Cages, dishes, silverware, cups, supplies for games, and so much more. This was all an intense amount of research, and thousands of dollars. I also had to advertise the event, and I did so on Backpage in all 50 states, on sites like FetLife. I had to build a website myself and pay for it. I had to create social media and do further promo of something that had never happened before. How do I gain people's trust to attend, and Mistresses' trust to work the event? I also would have to find and rent a location.

As applications and emails came in, I had to reply to everyone single-handedly. This took lots of time as well, hundreds of hours. Easing people's fears. Explaining things.

I also had to find a location to hold something where a lot of activity takes place outdoors.

Besides this, I had to make sure the event was as safe as possible for everyone involved. If something went wrong, it fell on me. I had to screen the subs thoroughly and also be very selective of the Mistresses who would attend something like this. I had to think moment to moment about what could go wrong and what to do if something did. How would we act?

Almost all of the women who have ever attended Indomitus in the 10 years we have been running this event, including guest Mistresses, have never done high protocol before. So I taught it to them. I came up with my own protocol and servitude positions that not only fit the event but also made sense, were easy to remember, and were useful. This led the Mistresses to take this knowledge back home and use it in their own appointments and relationships, which was very cool.

To get this right, make it a hit, make it special, and make it something people believed in, I had to get the very first event RIGHT. I could not flub it. It had to be a smashing success. It was.

Events through the years

I also had to make sure every event afterward was a smashing success, not only for the event's reputation but also for delivering the incredible experience people signed up for.

Mistresses

You cannot have a good event like this without a good team. I repeat. YOU CANNOT HAVE A GOOD EVENT LIKE THIS WITHOUT A GOOD TEAM. This meant that I did not invite back Mistresses who I felt could not handle the event very well. This also meant that I did not invite others who had never gone before and whom I felt would not be a good fit. I also only had LIMITED SPACE! Which meant I could not fit in additional Mistresses at times, even if I wanted to. These days, the biggest problem I have is wanting to have 40 amazing women and not being able to fit them.

This was extremely stressful for me, year after year, as people probably thought I hated them. People are very offended when you cannot fit them into the event and wonder why you chose other Mistresses over them. This is something I still deal with today; it just bothers me less than it used to. These days I prefer to have almost all the same amazing women, because they have attended so many times, it makes things easier for me, although I am not opposed to having others if I can fit them and would love that.

Problem Solving Nonstop

Being cool under pressure and problem-solving immediately is a constant situation. The decisions fall on me if we have to change something up, if the weather is poor (thankfully, almost never), and if any problem, big or small, occurs. You have to solve problems quickly and behind the scenes so the event itself isn't interrupted and nobody even knows.

I did once have to plan an entire wooden plank over a cinder block and traffic cone setup to make sure everyone got into our flooded acreage at the old Clubdom/former Indomitus estate after a hurricane days prior had flooded out the roads and 3/4 of our 5+ acre grounds. My plan worked, to the surprise of the subs I made set it up, who told me it never would have worked. You HAVE to be calm. You HAVE to be creative. Everyone made it in safely. No one got stuck in the mud and had to be towed.

Sometimes these problems become financial. Entire boxes of supplies have been misplaced and needed to be repurchased. Purchases might involve making changes to activities.

Emotions and Safety

Sometimes the problems are that there is a sub who is not a good fit (almost never, thankfully, due to screening and repeat subs). Sometimes the sub is having a hard time in their personal life, and it all emotionally comes out at the event. Sometimes we have to spring into action for the safety of someone, and we constantly have to make sure the subs are eating, staying hydrated, and resting because THEY WILL NOT TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES. We have had Mistresses who played unsafely, and we have stopped their scenes before something bad happened, and they were not invited back. This is why I am very VERY selective.

Event Privacy

I have to constantly deal with the event's privacy as well. I turned down interviews and documentaries over the years. I did not want VICE (the NY-based magazine/news outlet) to film us, for example. I have emails year after year of situations like this that I have to turn down. I also have to deal with our privacy at the event to make sure we can do what we want without outside eyes. I also have to create privacy when we lose privacy. When more homes were built near my event property, I had to put up 6-ft privacy panels along the fence. This meant I had to cut away branches from trees and bushes along the fence line to access the fence. When the 2 subs who were supposed to come help BOTH BAILED, I had to do this by myself. It took 72 hours of hard labor to cover 700 feet of fence, and a lot of cuts, scrapes, and bruises. I was dead, and I still had to set up and run the whole Indomitus event, a huge costume party and a femdom hang day.

Organizing setup and breakdown

For the first few years, I had little help in setting up or breaking down the event, and I had to do a lot of heavy lifting. Thankfully, more and more subs have been helpful, but through the years I have needed to create a very thorough, organized set-up and breakdown list. You have to make it foolproof, as often people can't find things that are, in fact, right in front of them. You have to know where everything is located, or they will tell you there are no tiki torches, no boxes of supplies for games, and make you think they were thrown away accidentally after previous events.

Food

Creating menus that account for the specific needs of almost 20 people is a huge challenge. Creating meals that are easy yet delicious is another challenge. Storing that food between multiple fridges is another challenge. Buying a lot of food that women assume you don't have, so they start Instacarting things before and after the event to the property, is another challenge. Subs saying you are out of food items because they weren't looking hard enough, causing you to buy more, is another challenge. This is something we still cannot nail down perfectly. It is a constant struggle, leaving me with too many leftover groceries to take home. I donate them to people in the area, at a huge financial loss with the sky-high price of food these days. Making sure meals are ready on time to adhere to our strict schedule is also a challenge that we now have down but have to stay on top of.

Constant yearly work

Year after year, the website has to be updated, promotions have to go out, women have to be selected, event photoshoots have to be planned, a photographer has to be booked, and endless emails, phone calls, and texts have to be exchanged between me and all event attendees. Financials have to be figured out. A couple hundred hours of work have to be done before the event month even hits. I do it all, but appreciate when event Mistresses help promote and answer questions for subs who ask them about it.

My part of the event is 2 weeks, not a few days

The event does not start the day before for me; it starts a week before. I have to arrive at the event property to make to-do lists and check whether the home itself needs repairs or supplies before I can even set up the event. The event set-up is HUGE. Women want to arrive on Wed (the event starts Friday), so some are already arriving. Thurs, all the rest of the women arrive. We have an important meeting and dinner to discuss the event logistics and safety, and we go over the list of attending subs and make everyone aware of their health issues and limitations. The event does not end the day after for me. It ends many days later, as it takes a lot of time to pack up the event and clean up. This is almost a 2-week span for me overall.

Worry is work

I always worry about the subs having a really amazing experience. Despite them always having an amazing experience, I am still always worried. This can sometimes add to my stress. This is also why it's nice to have the same, incredible Mistresses over and over again. You know they deliver a great experience. It helps ease your mind. I am still eyeballing every sub on their adventure and checking on everything, even though nothing has to be done.

Losing Locations

Losing the event location can happen. How will you deal with this? A space you are renting may no longer want an event like this, or the location might go up for sale. What will you do?

Well, this has happened to me. My location was going up for sale as the owner was finally ready to move on in her life. I had 5 months to figure out a whole new location. I scrambled online to find locations. I made calls. I went and visited some. Hours and hours of time. I decided to propose purchasing the location from her, but I was not sure I would qualify with 2 existing mortgages. Maybe I could have? I had to do some intense research to figure this out. After doing some research, I decided to ask whether she wanted to pursue seller financing. She agreed without hesitation because she knew how hard I worked as a professional in this industry; she knew I was good for it. I purchased the property from her. The monthly payment was VERY large because we agreed to a very short loan term. I also knew it would be a good investment. By the time I sold the property years later, I had only 35k left on the mortgage, and it had gone up in value.

I had to find a new property when deciding to sell the other one, which was also a huge challenge, and the new property needed a lot of very stressful and expensive repairs.

Having a different event property also means different event logistics that fit this new space. It means replanning the whole event and even more expensive purchases. The fence privacy panels alone were thousands of dollars.

Financials

I have been told directly by many people, which means I have no idea how many people have thought this outside of those who directly told me, that they assume I am making a fortune with this event. They look at the cost on the website, try to guess how many subs attend, come up with a huge number, and assume that is my take-home. I pay every Mistress who attends the highest pay by miles that any event offers to pay any Mistress. On top of this, I also offer them commission if they bring in a new sub who is a good fit. Food costs are almost 2k these days. Supplies and repairs to items like pony carts also add up substantially. I am working on this on the computer between promotion, website updates, communication with over 40 people between subs and Mistresses, some of those who don't end up attending because of fears or schedules, of course. I am also setting up, running, and breaking down an event for 2 weeks, thankfully these days, with a lot more help. I still have to do crazy, hard labor myself from time to time (the fence privacy panel/sawing branches situation), reupholstering pony carts, and more. What I take home is great, but it's nothing remotely close to half of what people assume. I would make more money by going on a 3-week tour across 4 cities and then going home, never needing to do anything further.

Tragedy

Horrible things in life will happen. People are going to pass away, sometimes unexpectedly. Are you going to cancel an event? Have someone run it for you? I had an event the same year my partner tragically died, despite not wanting to at all. I was not at all ready to run an event so soon. I was still suffering from shock and in a deep depression. I was barely functioning and able to do my own appointments.

Many pushed and pushed and PUSHED me to have it and said they would help. Asked how they could help. When the event came around, I was left with little help. Even my best friend at the time, who pushed me to do it and said she would help, bailed on the entire event. Some attending women really did have my back and tried to help make things run as smoothly as they could. I vaguely remember that event, but I remember their extra kindness and attention towards me.

Others caused unnecessary stress behind the scenes, which made things even harder on me.

People arrived at their usual times and fell into their usual roles, assuming I had it covered, forgetting they had offered to come very early and help. They completely forgot/not taken into account that I was running on autopilot and walking around with severe PTSD. I felt horrible reminding them as they booked flights and things got closer, and so I did not remind them. I was hurt they didn't remember.

I ran that event but was mentally in another place. I was not fully there. It was very successful. I had to run it because I could not back out now. My partner was dead. I could not text him to tell him how great the event was going. He was not helping me set up or break down the event, or hear fun and wild stories about the event. I saw him everywhere I looked on that property.

When everyone left, I walked out into the field, collapsed, and cried. The OOI subs are numbered, and we were probably up to the 70s by then. My partner was dead. His number is 1.

Is it worth it?

Very much yes. So very much. What we did and still do has been life-altering for so many people, especially the subs, but in truth, also the Mistresses. I could write a book about the many layers of positivity and deep beauty this event has brought to the subs who attended and what it has and still means to them. It has helped some of them overcome severely almost life-ruining traumatic incidents that had happened in their kink journey elsewhere and made them feel safe again, putting them on the path to healing. We haven't had a goodbye without every one of them in tears of utter gratitude.

What is not spoken enough about is the effect it has had on the Mistresses.

This event has helped launch the careers of some attendees. When the world didn't believe in them (just as I wasn't believed in), I believed in them. Mistress Tess now has her own event inspired by mine, bringing the joy of OOI to England. I was blessed to attend as a guest of honor.

This event has taught so many women that kink can be meaningful and very special, not just a job. It has taught women that service-oriented people exist. It has caused a lot of them to meet and now own personal subs from OOI. It has changed the way they do their entire pro domme business. It has made them braver, more confident. It made one woman go home and change her entire career, even her name and rebrand, and she is now a very well-known figure, having happier appointments knowing real subs exist and how to now market to attract them. It caused a Mistress and sub to fall in love and get married (and I was their "best woman"). The men might all be in tears saying goodbye, but so are all of the women, who tell everyone what this event means to them. This event, many tell me, restores their love of femdom when things aren't going so right at times back home.

I am in my final years of Indomitus, not because I don't love the event, but because I have been running it since 2015, and even before then I had smaller events before I tried to kick off the big ones. It's been the best thing I've done in my career, and I am so proud of it. Indomitus gave rise to many other events, such as Eden, Den of the Divine, and Sissy weekend.

I also host many other events, parties, and school events at the event property. Some of those are the Dominatrix Arts, our Service School, the Sadist Dinner and play party, and smaller femdom weekends without high protocol. It's been a very wild ride. While I would always like to have femdom events in some form, and will so far continue doing so, the days of Indomitus are numbered. I plan on selling my event property in the next few years (but do plan on having select events at other locations), and I am unsure if I would be able to continue Indomitus between alternate location logistics and the intense amount of work that goes into it, which it needs and deserves. I have thought of handing off the event and its name to another worthy Mistress when the time comes. So yes, this could be the last several OOIs.

 Your team of women is so incredibly important. You cannot do it without them. Cherish them. I cannot express the gratitude I have in words that would be deserving enough. Subs who help are truly special. Cherish them.

Despite how beautiful and meaningful this event is, it is such an enormous test of willpower to pull off. It is an enormous amount of work, juggling finances and needing to be cool, calm, and solve problems. ALWAYS REMEMBER that sometimes, you are doing that all by yourself, because the show must go on.